weird

a fren that u think u know well enough to not betray u. finally did. a fren that u tot treated u sincerely. actually did not. a fren that uve cared so much, that was once special to u, that i cherish wat we had most. turn out to hurt me.
i tot this time i will be hurt for losing that someone as a fren. but it was all more to a relieved. that something i have never let go, i finally did. but somehow hearing that someone say such thing can be very hurting.
i maybe really dumb. but my intuition of that someone saying things to hurt me. somehow couldnt convince me that is on purpose. somehow i feel like there is a reason for that someone to do such thing. somehow something that must be done quick.
i never tot i will feel relieved. i tot i will be so devastated. but i tot wrongly, we really grow stronger each time we fall. we learn something each time we are hurt. *so glad n happy everything is over now.*
from this pain, i learn a lot, i learnt that it doesnt mean u treated someone as a fren will treat u back as one. worst still betray u. plus ive learn to let go n not hold on. but im glad that i did nothing wrong to spoil what we had. im glad that i cherish wat we had till the very last sec. n till now, i still cherish everything. and i hope that someone will think the same, n that someone will take care n be happy. my last wishes for this someone is good luck n all the best in ur future undertakings.

random post

feeling really down right now. things was going on so well in my life suddenly turn upside down! everything seems to be so messy...so complicated. so feel like leaving this world behind me for a moment and come back after feeling all better.

im feeling really lonely but i know im not alone. ive got a lot of things to say, but i cant. ive got a lot of problems to solve, but i dunno where to start. im feeling really stupid, because some idiot is enjoying life out there while leaving me suffer. there's so many things i feel like letting out. i feel like screaming. i feel like killing that someone. i feel like hurting that someone. i feel like hurting that someone the same way as that someone has done to me. but i cant. there is no way that i can in such a love and hate feelings i have inside.

time flies. remembering the times i had so much fun, having real n pure frens. everything around u seems like fairytale, the vision u have ahead seems like a fantasy to be in. i have always been naive and always with the thought that we'll be super close n things will never change btw us. but no, be real, things change as time pass by, nothing stays the same. the vision that u have all jus vanished. but only the past, the memories will keep haunting u. and when everything change around u so fast, u feel like urself hasnt change at all. frens change, some grew further away, some become more reserve, some are fatter n thinner, some are not as sweet anymore, some isnt funny anymore, some calls u lesser, some hurt u, some love u more. its so hard to cope with all the changes.

how someone u don't know well can never hurt u or bring u down. but someone u love as a fren can hurt u so deeply n bring u down so fast. is it my fault, for allowing that someone into my heart n life or its jus an ASSHOLE i should kill. =(

RAJESH MAHESAN

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I KNOW YOU ARE IN EGYPT NOW. JUS WANNA WISH U A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND THAT MAY THIS DAY BRING U LOTS OF LOVE, CARE, HAPPINESS AND LUCKS FOR THE REST OF DAYS IN YEAR 2006!!

and on this day, i wan u to know that ur always love by me, cared by me n i wanna say thank u for being there for me always (no matter where u r). thanks for standing up for me. thanks for helping me up, when i fell down. thanks for making me feel good about myself, when i felt so down. thanks for telling me that im worth it, when i don feel like i am. thanks for jus standing still, when everyone is turning their back on me. thanks for reminding me of how much im worth. thanks for always bringing up my confidence. thanks for listening to me cry. thanks for listening to me complain. thanks for being bitchy with me. last but not least thanks for being honest to me, when everyone is lying.

i owe u so much that i dunno how to repay. althou, we are not that close anymore. but uve done so much for me, that i can never forget.
faster come back lar!! me missing u like crazy!!! me need u more that ever!! me need u to hear me complain, ur support, ur care. me jus need u very very much. pls come back soon!! hahah ok i know its always about me. sorry...