LOST SOUL

someone today told me to start blogging. Then i looked at my blog and it started getting me thinking again. Now i remember why i stopped blogging and why i don't even look at my blog even when i'm online for the past yr.

Blogging makes me think. It makes me think soooo soooo sooo mcuh. It reminds me of my past, present and think of my future. It makes me misses people i had in the past. Most importantly, it always reminds me of how LOST i am.

I guess when i'm not lost, i would start again. Hope that someday it will come

my 21st

my favourite aunty and uncle







my 21st bday. i guess with all the jinx that happen to me since form 3 on my birthday, is now finally over. i enjoyed myself. The whole wide world was there. Except my beloved best friend n nerd. If they were there it would be complete. My favourite aunty n uncle came, was pretty upset at the start cos they said they couldnt make it. But they did...*muaks* to u guys.

pulau redang

Its been sometime since i last post anything. That is not because i was busy or wat so ever. I was just simply feeling lazy and wanting to be alone. i have a lot to post though.

REDANG

nothing much to describe this particular trip there. Its pretty boring for me, but im pretty sure it wasnt the beach or the place. It was jus simply the crowd i was with. I'll jus post up a few pics to decribe the day. oh yeah...by the way i went there like July 7 i think haha...

this song so describe my mood now

{verse 1}
Alone in this house again tonight
I've got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

{chorus}
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I've thought that bein' strong meant never losin' self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

{verse 2}
Would it help if i turned the sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

{chorus}
Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I've thought that bein' strong meant never losin' self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry......

{chorus}
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I've thought that bein' strong meant never losin' self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with this pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry......

ive been facing a lot of problems lately. i feel horrible about what i have done the past, i learn from it and i wanna change. but its just really really tough. i have no idea how to do it sometimes, i kinda lost track of things. although the recent issues are about my past, i still feel horrible. i have never been really happy since the day i know what have i done in the past and also admitting my mistakes, because i am still trying change.

there are a number things that is making me unhappy. but i cannot admit it because it brings out the best in me. i always think that i am not allowed or i should not be happy because i dun deserve it. what ive done in the past, this is my karma.

recently, ive been avoiding my problems. i am just not ready to face it or even talk about it or even do anything about it. i am just not ready and ive been turning to my alcohols to avoid facing my problem. i have no one i can really talk to. jesh isn't here and he is the only one i can really talk to. i hope he will be back soon.

results

my results are out. weeeeeeeeeeee!!! i feel so relief. my worries is all gone now. =)

Unit Grade Mark Unit Title
009754 5 50 Finance (International) 302
010855 6 68 Public Relations (Principles) 102
003822 6 64 Sales Management 230
003900 5 55 Strategic Marketing 310

the above is my results for semester 1, 2007. i pass everything. i am damn happy. im closer to my dreams, closer to having what i want in life. i am graduating end of this year. i will and i must! hehe

sanctuary

its my third time in sanctuary. the place kinda suck...cos its so damn small n so damn banyak ppl. anyway, i wasnt dress to go to sanctuary..i followed my sis out cos i was bored waiting for my bf at home and i didnt know she was going to sanctuary. i tot she was going to laundry. casually, i wore slippers n short n a top. and some bloody asshole stepped on my sliipper n my slipper is now broken. bloody hell. now i need to get a new flip flops. curse that fella man.

anyway, that night was alright...just go there for fun. drinking, gossiping cos BCS is there ahaha. anyway, that night there were a bunch of 40 yr old mens...to be precise fat mens! they wanted to get to know me n my sis n all. so i gave my name as elaine and my sis is stephanie hahaha couldnt think of any at that time. they are so fucking flirtacious. its just so irritating!! at the moment i din know what to do but jus layan them by answering one word. smile laugh. whatever! plus it was jus us girls there. when finally my sister's guy colleague came back. i straight away dragged him n said "hey, this is my bf" haha n pushed my sis colleague to them. haha thanks for helping that night oon.

after exam partayy!!

finally exams are over... i can finally party!! went to maison with my classmates. maison it is man.. saw the whole lot of bunch of metro ppl in maison. the night started pretty early. so it was kinda boring at the start, then it turn up alright. since everyone started coming. but i hated my table.. damn a lot of ppl there pushing jus to pass through. ma hai cant u all stay in one place *back at me* if my table were not there i would have done the same haha...but it was so irritating!! some of them can jus push u, step on ur feet *my oh so beautiful feet* then never say sorry or even anything about it. but anyway it was all good... cos i get to DRINK!! DRINK DRINK DRINK...my fav



the girls

robin goodness gracious *u suck* hahaha

love u both

my pak fan chai fren

we love u

big girl LILIAN

HAPPY 21ST BRITHDAY LILIAN TOO. AS USUAL AND EVERY DAY IN YOUR LIFE I HOPE YOU ARE BLESSED WITH LOVED AND HAPPINESS FROM EVERY SINGLE PERSON.

*i guessed i dun have to post so banyak pictures, cos i think lili took damn a lot dee" so go see her multiply or her blog*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING. I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH. MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE FAST FAST K. MUAKS. WISHING U A HEALTHY, LOVING, LOTS OF MONEY AND GREAT ACHIEVEMENT THIS YEAR. MUAKS