random post

feeling really down right now. things was going on so well in my life suddenly turn upside down! everything seems to be so messy...so complicated. so feel like leaving this world behind me for a moment and come back after feeling all better.

im feeling really lonely but i know im not alone. ive got a lot of things to say, but i cant. ive got a lot of problems to solve, but i dunno where to start. im feeling really stupid, because some idiot is enjoying life out there while leaving me suffer. there's so many things i feel like letting out. i feel like screaming. i feel like killing that someone. i feel like hurting that someone. i feel like hurting that someone the same way as that someone has done to me. but i cant. there is no way that i can in such a love and hate feelings i have inside.

time flies. remembering the times i had so much fun, having real n pure frens. everything around u seems like fairytale, the vision u have ahead seems like a fantasy to be in. i have always been naive and always with the thought that we'll be super close n things will never change btw us. but no, be real, things change as time pass by, nothing stays the same. the vision that u have all jus vanished. but only the past, the memories will keep haunting u. and when everything change around u so fast, u feel like urself hasnt change at all. frens change, some grew further away, some become more reserve, some are fatter n thinner, some are not as sweet anymore, some isnt funny anymore, some calls u lesser, some hurt u, some love u more. its so hard to cope with all the changes.

how someone u don't know well can never hurt u or bring u down. but someone u love as a fren can hurt u so deeply n bring u down so fast. is it my fault, for allowing that someone into my heart n life or its jus an ASSHOLE i should kill. =(